The hardest thing about being so far away from home, is the fact that you cannot be there when you are needed most. You cannot be there to help or to comfort a loved one and it makes you feel utterly useless. Today, I learned of the passing of a loved one. To put the ash on an already bitter cake, my dear friend was not there to be with her family. I could only imagine the pain she must feel just from being away and my prayers and thoughts are with you.
Life is truly a painful journey. One that each of us have to take. It flows like a stream, with many intertwining flows and separations. Some streams once separated, meet again later on. However, some trail off to an unknown location. Through these intersections and flow, the waters share with one another, the essence of each other. By extension, we can say that each of us carry a part of that person we walk with, talk with, and keep close with, in our hearts and they continue to live on. Cliche yes, but it does not make it any less true. This only teaches us to truly keep each other close and to always appreciate the time we have with one another; be it short or long.
It is always painful to see a loved one leave. It is even more painful when you can no longer hear or touch that person again. It leaves a gaping hole in our lives, so much so that we feel that we are only half a person we were before. It is even worse still if we did not end things well with that loved one. But know this. He or she who loved you, will always love you. Even when they are angry or sad, they will always love you. Live life the way they would be proud of. That does not mean living a life of amazing standards, rather, it is doing the best you can wherever and whenever you can. They never asked you to be a multi millionaire, they only want you to be the best person you can be. Always remember that.
There is also a time for everything. There is a time of mourning and then there is the time for healing. To my dear friend whom I love to the depths of my heart, take this time to mourn and pray. It is appropriate. And when you are ready to begin to heal, ask God for his love and comfort. Seek the people who are still here for you and keep them close. Finally, know this, she is back with Him. I believe she will also keep you and your family in prayer to God. However, be cautioned. Do not hate the people that have done this. Yes, it was an evil act they have done of which they deserve punishment, but do not hold a grudge towards them. Desperation leads to violence and violence lead to death and death leads to hatred. I am not saying that you are not allowed to feel hate towards them. I am merely saying that you should let go when the time comes. For if God were to judge, how would He judge?
Aunty Irene was truly a bright portion of my memories. I may not have known or spent a lot of time with her, but every time I do, she would have a funnily phrased sentence. It always put a smile on my face. I am pretty sure it put a smile on everyone's faces as well. It always seemed to brighten the room and I was always thankful for it. Even her smile.
Aunty Irene, you will be sorely missed as you have touched many of our lives; be it small or large.